Justifiable
by dnalalal
Summary: Buffy forgets herself and her rules for a moment Spuffy fluff
1. the walk

Justifiable  
  
A/N: Okay, this story takes place around Doublemeat Palace of season 6. The two parts are basically unrelated, but hold the same theme..I guess they could be considered to happen in the same Buffyverse, just a few days apart. The story is completed, hope you like, please R&R.  
  
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Post DMP - Buffy forgets herself and her rules for a moment - If only she was just some girl, and he was just some guy...  
  
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THE WALK  
  
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"Buffy." Spike fell into step beside her.  
  
"I don't want to talk to you."  
  
"We don't need to talk."  
  
"I don't want to do that other thing either."  
  
"Well I wasn't offering, luv."  
  
"Then what do you want?"  
  
Spike stopped walking and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Was just going to walk you home. But never mind then."  
  
Buffy's shoulders slumped and she turned to face him, without looking at him.  
  
"I'm sorry, just..forget I opened my mouth at all ok?"  
  
Spike took a step closer to her.  
  
"Rough day luv?"  
  
She nodded, still avoiding eye contact. She looked smaller..frailer than usual and completely worn out.  
  
Against his better judgment, he reached out and gently brushed his knuckles against her cheek.  
  
To his amazement she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. A small whimper escaped her barely parted lips.  
  
For a moment Spike just stood still, not sure what to do, what she wanted him to do..what he wanted to do. Finally, he pulled his hand back and began to walk again.  
  
She followed suit, her small hand slipping into his.  
  
"Can we go to your place?"  
  
"What about Dawn?" He asked, cautiously.  
  
"She's at a friends." Buffy took a few hurried steps to keep up with him.   
  
"Spike, slow down!" She wrapped her free hand around his bicep and pulled him to a stop.  
  
He searched her eyes, his own filled with questions.  
  
"Buffy, luv, what exactly are we doing?"  
  
At first she looked confused, and then she let go of him and took a step back.  
  
"I-I don't know." After another moment of hesitation Spike's most dreaded words tumbled out of her mouth. "I need to go."  
  
Spike caught her arm and pulled her back, until she was right up against him. He snaked his other arm around her waist.  
  
"No. You don't."  
  
"Spike." She meant to sound reprimanding, but it came out more as a whimper.  
  
"Yes luv?" He crooked a finger under her chin and tipped her head up until he could look into her eyes.  
  
Although she prepared herself for what she was about to see, the intense blue gaze still made her breath catch in her throat. It always did.  
  
"Spike. I need to go..away...from you." She had to concentrate to make sure the sentence came out properly. If she didn't she would probably end up saying something she would regret, maybe not right away, but regret all the same.  
  
Her hands made their way to his chest and she pushed away from him. He let her go, his arms dropping to his sides in defeat.  
  
"Two minutes ago you were ready to come home with me luv."  
  
"And ten minutes ago I was grilling burgers. I'm all gross and smelly..covered in grease."  
  
"If you honestly think that matters to me you must be off your wanker."  
  
"But I feel dirty."  
  
"Well we could get you out of those clothes.."  
  
Buffy wrapped her arms around herself. She always did that subconsciously when she felt threatened. And threatened she did feel. She had suddenly realized how dangerous it was to be alone with Spike. Not because the chip was failing her, but because she wanted to be with him so badly that she sometimes forgot how wrong it was.  
  
"I want to go home Spike. I'm tired."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Right then, come on." Without waiting for a reply he'd stalked off in the direction of her house.  
  
Buffy sighed and then hurried to catch up with him, not knowing why. She could just wait until he was a fair distance away from her and go around the longer way. Be done with him altogether..  
  
But she didn't want to. And for now what they were doing was innocent enough, she could find ways to justify why it was ok and as long as she could justify spending time with him, she would.  
  
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	2. the talk

Justifiable  
  
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Post DMP - Buffy forgets herself and her rules for a moment - If only she was just some girl, and he was just some guy...  
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THE TALK  
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"And then he was like, 'No! Not like that.'. Like I'm supposed to know what to do with cow innards from my last job or something.." Buffy was emphatically waving her arms around to emphasize the point.  
  
"I'm sure you were doing just fine luv." The hand that he had stretched along the back of the couch behind her head began to move of its own accord. His fingers gently running through her hair.  
  
She stilled for a moment, her eyelids sliding half closed with the fatigue he knew was chasing quickly on her heels.  
  
"Besides, if people were meant to be good at working fast food they wouldn't get spots from grease or gain weight from fat."   
  
She wrinkled her nose. "I don't see what cow guts has to do with the burgers anyway. Why'd I get stuck with the crap jobs?"  
  
His hand stopped it's rhythmic stroking and he shifted his weight so he was turned towards her.  
  
"You wouldn't have to do the crap jobs if you weren't working there." It was matter of fact, but yet laced with concern and frustration.  
  
"Spike.." Her voice took on that tone of gentle warning he had become to hate. It was the tone telling him he was just about to cross the line.  
  
Some days she'd open right up and talk for hours. It was as if...as if they were a real couple. But as soon as he became too involved in what she was saying, too 'boyfriendly' like, she'd pull out her secret weapon. The Tone.  
  
He was silent and she didn't need to see the twitching muscle in his jaw to know he was frustrated. She could read him like a book, he was always so open, never hiding anything. It made her feel cunning and manipulative, the way she could never be truthful around him..  
  
"It's just..I'm used to being good at stuff y'know? I save the world and stuff. Suddenly I'm thrown into the world of 'Joe Normal's', what I've always wanted, and I can't deal." Whoa, were did that come from? Way too much sympathy for the vampire here, too much sharing..  
  
"Never mind, forget I said that." She covered quickly.  
  
He could feel her closing off, that would be the end of her therapy session today. She was slowly edging away from him, both physically and mentally.  
  
"It's getting late..I should go."  
  
"Buffy.." He didn't know what to say beyond that, his hand was latched onto her wrist. When did that happen? Metaphorically? Years ago.  
  
She stood before him looking everywhere but into his eyes and he could feel the tiny shiver that ran through her body. Insecurity, how could he help with that?  
  
He stood as well, dangerously invading her personal space.  
  
"I'm serious Spike, I'm leaving." It was whispered so softly he barely caught it.  
  
He nodded silently and cupped her face in his hand, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. Slowly he closed the space between them and brought his lips to hers. Passion enveloped him, but love lead his way.  
  
He ran his tongue lightly along her bottom lip and she opened easily to him with a tiny sigh. He did everything just the way he knew she loved, soft and gentle, fitting her mood. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was the kind that seemed to last forever and lingered on even after they separated.  
  
She wobbled a little as he pulled away and he steadied her with a hand on her waist. With his eyes boring into hers, his voice came out low and husky.  
  
"Right then luv, on your way."  
  
She stiffened noticeably, was he asking her to leave?  
  
"Unless.."  
  
She knew what she wanted, knew how wrong it was..pros and cons were quickly weighed and her decision did not surprise her. Somewhere deep inside she'd known that if he made any attempt to get her to stay she would. God, she couldn't do anything right!  
  
One lone tear was soon followed by others and somehow her arms found their way around his neck and her face buried itself into that place. That place where his neck and shoulder met that seemed like it was built just for her..  
  
"Shh luv, you're ok. Everything will be ok." He ran his hands up and down her back, gently kneading as he felt tense spots and she was soon relaxed, her entire body leaning on him, sobbing quietly.  
  
The truth was that it wasn't ok, it wasn't ok for her to be with him. It never would be ok. The Powers That Be had ordained it wrong. She killed his kind. He had no soul. And yet, despite it all, right here right now, she never wanted him to let her go.  
  
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End file.
